growth mentality, understand that wherever you go, whether efficient or not, you will take a lesson from it and move to the next one.
the sequence is not that important. and the decisions you are talking about , work / family, for me are not either or. there are much more opposing and conflicting aspects than 2 activities that compete for time.
for example — triggering and creating conflict in yourself vs nurturing and healing conflict. (or others).
the point is, as long as you feel a strong conflict about something, try to switch to excitement and analyze the context, the end result should be feeling like epiphany, explore it till it does (not a set timeframe, it can take years or forever)